October 2014 - I was going to be a mother for the very first time. I was thrilled, yet so nervous. I went to my ultrasounds and the baby was perfectly healthy.
During our thanksgiving dinner, I started bleeding a tremendous amount. I rushed to the hospital only to be greeted by a doctor who told me my baby’s heartbeat was strong and the bleeding was normal. I couldn’t feel the baby kick or move the whole day. He said that shouldn’t be of concern because he can hear the heartbeat.
I went home and rested during the day to reassure myself and what the doctor said but the bleeding continued.
Around 1:00am, I got an urge to go pee, so I stood up and got a major stomach cramp and before I could even process what had happened, there was a tiny baby in my hand, all bloody. I was so scared, I did not know what to expect, so I wrapped up the little body in a blanket and went to the hospital.
Although I was holding a tiny lifeless body in my hand, I still had to wait in the waiting room with blood soaking my pants and crying. I felt worthless.
The nurse took me to the back and the very first thing the doctor said was, “We will dispose of that for you.” Asked me what had happened, without checking me - they sent me home. Those words replay in my head every single day. Throwing away my lifeless baby due to not being aware of the options and knowing they discarded my baby like trash. I wish I had known I could have got my little one cremated. The guilt of just handing him over without saying goodbye to him or loving him, breaks my heart.
A week later I was admitted to Woodstock hospital, for massive blood loss due to Alexandra Hospital not being thorough. There was a nurse who stayed with me from the Ingersoll hospital while I was transported to Woodstock when the blood loss occurred. She was remarkable and made me feel comfortable and safe despite almost dying from blood loss and infection due to not being checked properly.
Three years later, I made them aware of the emotional heartache that I live with on a daily basis due to their actions and I requested they have miscarriage and pregnancy loss training of some sort. The doc apologized but nothing was ever done.
Submitted by AN
